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Feeling like nothing is working out the way you planned?

That no one is listening or following through with what you’re asking them to do?

When we subconsciously feel like nothing is working, our automatic response is to try and control everything and everyone around us. ESPECIALLY the people we live with and are married too 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💏👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 and especially-especially our children.

You can help gain more control in your life by focusing on HOW YOU RESPOND to what people are doing instead of focusing on what people are doing around you.

For example, your husband leaves his dirty socks all…

Internal work and growth (often referred to as shadow work) is noticing patterns/behaviours/tendencies of ourselves that we don’t necessarily like. We see these situations that we’re in over and over again *cough cough ex’s and in-laws cough cough* and we want to get out of the habit of being in a pattern because they are not helping us live our best lives or causing unnecessary drama.⁠

All of our outside situations are trying to get us to reflect inward to a pattern we need to take personal responsibility for.⁠

Examples of behaviours or patterns playing the victim/blame-game, martyr…


Where are you trying to make your decisions make sense?⁠

We live in a demanding world. Where it feels like things need to look a certain way, be done in a certain order, be completed before we’re happy. ⁠


We want to follow this formula to avoid judgement of others. This is what has the decisions we make and our actions make sense to those around us.⁠

If it happens in this order, then people can’t question it. If it happens in this order, then people won’t judge me.⁠
If it happens in this order…

Does this sound like you
Does this sound like you

“I don’t want to say no, because I don’t want to cause any drama”⁠

Does this sound like you?⁠

What if we told you that you saying no was never the issue, but the reaction to your no is! ⁠

We get stuck not wanting to stand up for ourselves or truly say what we want. ⁠

We fear judgment, we fear being called dramatic, we fear being accused of be too much. ⁠

But If your no was respected for the answer and complete sentence that it is…there would be no fight. ⁠

It’s ok to be a “hot mess” but you don’t have to be cruel to yourself thinking that its a bad thing ⁠

We like the term Gentle Observer ⁠

Know where you are hard on yourself and where you can be gentler. ⁠

We can be our own worst bullies and we let ourselves play victim to it before even letting ourselves have a chance to thrive. ⁠

We cut ourselves off at the knees. ⁠

There will always be things you want to change, and that’s ok. Take your power back with it…

When we want something we want it NOW.⁠

We want to be saved with a huge stack of cash, or we want our business to boom overnight with full schedules and again… a big stack of cash.⁠

The issue is you aren’t ready for that. ⁠


Because you have to work on your relationships first. When we say this we don;’t mean you have to be perfect to get the goal or the end result.. what we mean is you have to actively want to try moving forward with your self-awareness, patterns and cycles because…

How many relationships do you have in your life that are truly everything that you wished they could be, including the one with yourself? ⁠

How many of them do you love having and how many do you have out of obligation ⁠

Where you happy to finally have an excuse not to go see someone (covid) ⁠

Where are these relationships draining you? ⁠

Where can you bring more to the relationship so it starts feeling amazing again?⁠

and where can you let others go so you can start feeling amazing again? ⁠

Just because it didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to doesn’t mean it was a mistake. ⁠

>>Where are you letting your feelings take over? ⁠
>>Where are you letting them control what was once an amazing feeling ⁠

Don’t forget about the excitement that you once had for a potential outcome. ⁠

A divorce doesn’t mean that there wasn’t happiness at one time.⁠

Getting fired doesn’t mean that your purpose wasn’t served.⁠

Having to sell your house for a loss doesn’t mean that you were irresponsible with money.⁠

We all know…

Kindred Self Care Community

Helping everyone who can’t say no with Marring the practical and magical Western 🇨🇦 largest self-care community

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